To Win the Nobel Prize Trump Needs to Clean Up His Act

After the American Century

                                                        Makeover Needed

Dear Donald Trump 

You have been campaigning to get the Nobel Prize for one spectacular action. Negotiating a peace agreement. But you have to do more. You need a track record. Gotta be long-term noble to win the Nobel.

Look at who wins that prize. Often, it recognizes decades or even an entire lifetime dedicated to the cause of peace. In 2024 the prize went to Nihon Hidankyō  - the survivors of the Hiroshima atomic bomb attack who have worked tirelessly to prohibit the use of such devastating weapons ever again. In other years the prize has been given to journalists who bravely stood up to dictators, or to an activist, such as Narges Mohammadi,  who has stood up to the Iranian state demanding human rights. In 2025 the prize has been awarded to María Corina Machado a leader of the Venezuelan opposition to the Maduro regime. Such champions of democracy and human rights tend to receive the prize.  

So, Mr. Trump a few friendly words. Of advice.

A president who murders people on the high seas, when he might arrest them instead, seems a poor candidate for the Peace Prize.  So put that on hold. It's not noble.

Nor does a president who tells a nationwide audience that he hates his enemies seem like a champion of peace. Tone that down. Go to church more often. Try to look noble.

Nor does a president seem to deserve the Peace Prize if he sends troops into large cities on the pretext that they are riotous when in fact their crime rate is down. So stop that,  and instead hold some-feel good cultural events at the White House.

Nor was it a smart move for ICE agents to run around in masks arresting people based on their appearance and locking them up without specific charges, without a hearing, and no access to a lawyer. It would be better if these guys did not resemble the Gestapo. Get new white uniforms, so they look more like medical workers. Mr. Kennedy has a lot of surplus gear after he slimmed down that department. And send them some place that really is crime ridden.

Nor was it a smart move to rename the Department as Defense as the War Department. It would be better to rename it the Department Protecting World Peace. Rename the Navy Seals as the Navy Doves. 

Anyway, Donald. You are right! About that Peace Prize. Its definitely the highest award. The highest. Most noble. Ever. Go for it. But be less combative. Not so angry. Stop threatening people. Let Melania out more often. Serve Mexican food to the journalists.

Even despite your mistakes so far,  you have a chance to win. The BIGGEST. A very Noble, and # 1. Of all prizes. 

How? Look a a map, Donald. The Norwegians give the Peace Prize. Norway is not in the Middle East. It borders on Russia. Norwegians have no love for Putin. None. No love. You be tough with Putin and Norway will like it.

And Norway is very committed to NATO.  Support NATO more and the prize gets possible. 

End the war in Ukraine, the Norwegians feel safer. The Prize gets closer still. 

Drop tariffs on Norway's exports and you can get on the short list for the Prize. 

Then, invite previous Peace Prize winners to a White House conference. Call it "Steps Needed to Achieve World Peace." Get yourself a selfie with every winner.

The President Has No Clothes

After the American Century

Hans Christian Andersen wrote a prophetic story about a king who thought he was acquiring magical clothing that was of superior quality. In fact, he had been fooled into thinking the clothing existed, when in fact he was "putting on" nothing at all. Two men who claimed to be weavers had pretended to make magical garments that were so fine that only intelligent people could see them. The King wanted such clothing, for he would not only appear splendid but he would be able to discover which subjects were fools. However, no one would admit that they could not see the new garments, because then they would appear stupid and unfit to keep their position. And so, the entire city praised the non-existent garments. The King strutted before his court and his subjects, convinced that he cut an impressive figure. Until a child said the obvious thing, that the King was stark naked. 

I used to think that Hans Christian Andersen exaggerated, for surely it would not be possible for an entire society to pretend their monarch was beautifully dressed when he was buck naked.  But the spectacle of Mr. Trump in the White House has shown that this fable is grounded in a deep insight into human nature.

Any child can see that Trump is not in his right mind. When he speaks, he rambles. He claims that there is an insurrection in the United States and sends troops to places where the crime rate is low, while ignoring other places where it is high. He orders the death of people in small boats in the open waters of the sea, claiming without a shred of evidence that these people are terrorists or drug runners. He has a large navy and air force, and these boats could be captured without killing anyone, but he bombs them instead. He continually makes statements at odds with irrefutable facts, and then orders out the National Guard. He posts strange videos from the White House depicting magical beds that will cure anyone who lies in them or demeaning political opponents. He appears to be out of his mind. If anyone else said and did these things they would be sent for psychiatric examination or put on trial for murdering people on the high seas.

Instead, news reporters, government officials, foreign heads of state, and legions of followers treat Mr. Trump as if he were sane.  He clearly is not, but the United States seems as a whole to be deranged. The man suffers from vast delusions of grandeur. He claims he ought to get to the Noble Peace Prize, yet he commits murder, arrests citizens without a warrant, slanders judges, and does his deranged best to intimidate opponents.  

During the first Trump administration, the Washington Post kept a list of the lies Trump told, and it eventually contained more than 25,000 items. Many of those lies are still being repeated with new absurdities added daily, to the point that half the public is convinced of supposed conspiracies and non-existent dangers. They have become as deranged as their leader.

As a result, the nation has become a state in national paralysis. The government is in lockdown and the Republicans will not even call the House of Representatives into session. They have abdicated their role in the political system. Representative national government has ceased to function, leaving a vacuum to be filled with the lunacy of a madman and his entourage at the White Asylum, where a new ballroom is being built.

Anderson ends his tale this way: 

‘But he hasn’t got anything on,’ all his people finally cried out. This gave the emperor the shivers, for he sensed they were right, but he reasoned: ‘Now I’ll have to stick the procession out.’ And the chamberlains walked on bearing the train that wasn’t there."  

(translation by John Irons)